


The Debutant Ball

by butterflysandbullets



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Birthday Party, Family Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6440962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butterflysandbullets/pseuds/butterflysandbullets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Seb's daughter celebrates her 18th birthday in Moran style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Debutant Ball

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again. It's us!  
> We are posting something else out of context with a link to a new piece of art by Hippano (follower her at hippano@tumblr.com)  
> Hope you like it!

The first thing I felt when I woke up was panic. A misplaced panic that I shouldn’t have felt before I opened my eyes. Something wasn’t right and there was something about the oppression that was sitting on my chest, keeping me from breathing. I reached out for Jim to make sure he was safe at the same time I reached under my pillow for my gun. It was stupid really. I hadn’t slept with a gun under my pillow in over a year. My hand found Jim’s arm and I squeezed. His hand came to rest on the top of mine and patted it a few times, lazily.

“S’k, Seb.” he said his voice slurred with sleep. “Manor House. Everything’s fine.” He patted my hand again and I released my grip on his arm. I opened my eyes and took in the familiar sight of my childhood bedroom around us. Swallowing slowly, I ran my hands over my face and remembered why we were there. Brighid’s birthday. Jim rolled over and shuffled closer to me, seeking out my warmth. He was always cold and he often sought me out to keep him warm. I pulled him closer for a few moments, while trying to even out my breathing again.

“Sorry.” I whispered as I pressed my lips to his head. He didn’t say anything in return and I settled down the best that I could, knowing that I needed to rest more. To sleep and not let my old anxieties about a stupid pile of brick and wood bother me. I closed my eyes again and Jim’s arm came up to rest against my chest and his head came to rest on my chest, his ear pressed to my heart.

“S’fine.” he said. His accent was heavier in sleep and I felt better at the familiar touch of my husband’s hand and the gentle puffs of his breath on my skin. I let go and relaxed into sleep once more.

The second time I awoke that morning it was because I was being attacked. Literally being attacked. Our daughter, for whatever reason, had decided that running from the door and pouncing between us on the bed was the absolutely best way to wake us up. Jim mumbled something that could have been “Deal with it Seb” or equally as likely could have been “Fuck off.” I wouldn’t put either past him. Early in the morning, when she was being difficult or exactly like her father, she was suddenly my daughter. I shook my head and rubbed the heel of my hand over my sandy eyes. 

“Good morning to you too, Cubbie.” I said, pulling her close to me and nuzzling my nose in her fiery red hair. “And what if Daddy and I were engaged in something that would scar your young eyes?” I asked her, wondering what she might have done if I was indeed doing something to my sexy husband first thing in the morning.

“Firstly, Papa,” she said, her morphed accent began, “I know you two were up late last night doing things that make my skin crawl, secondly, I listened at the door for five minutes and the only thing I heard was both of you snoring.”

“Don’t snore.” Jim’s response came from the lump that was my husband. Both Bri and I giggled at him and a hand came from the depths of the blankets to swat at the air. That sent our giggles into deeper fits. The arm retracted into the bed and was met with a huff. Our voices quieted down and I counted out in my head. “Three, two, one….” and I was correct. Jim flipped the blankets off of himself and was on top of us with a flash. His left and dominate hand came up to my bicep. He gripped it with more strength than one would suspect he had. I just rolled my eyes at him. His right hand found Bri’s ribs and proceeded to tickle her until she screamed. 

“Daddy! Stop!” Her breathless laugh was met with Jim’s own manic giggle. 

“Teach you to say I snore.” he said with a laugh before planting a lovely kiss on her cheek and working his way over to lay on top of me. Sebastian the mattress. It was an old habit and one that I thoroughly enjoyed. I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled him close. “And you…” he hissed.

“Good morning to you too, Kitten.” I said grinning at him. 

Jim’s face broke into a smile and he leaned down to kiss me. “Good morning, Tiger.” I leaned up to kiss him again. The groan and fake sick noises to my left was worth every second of it. 

“Ew! Yuck!” Bri rolled over to Jim’s place in the bed. “Do you  _ have _ to do that in here?”

“You should be lucky that’s all we’re doing, Cubbie.” I said, squeezing Jim tighter against me. 

“Double Ew!” Bri said as she launched herself off the bed and towards the door. “Either way, it’s time to get up and eat. Aunt Maggie is cooking and I was going to start coffee.” She said in a mock version of Jim’s sing song voice. 

“Coffee.” I moaned. Jim kissed me and I pushed him off of me as soon as Bri left the room. My bladder was screaming and I was in the need for coffee. And Bri’s coffee was like the golden nectar of the gods. I went and took care of my toilet before heading out into the rest of the manor house, leaving my handsome husband lounging in bed.

 

Moran Manor was a stately home outside of London. A pile of bricks and mortar that had been in our family for centuries. Nearly 400 years. And I hated every single inch of it. But, it was a tradition that a Moran woman had a coming out party there on her eighteenth birthday. And it was Brighid’s eighteenth birthday. Or it had been four days ago. We spent it as a quiet night at home, the six of us. My sister and her wife, their daughter Hope. Jim, Bri and I. Maggie, my sister in law and Jim’s distant cousin, cooked all of Bri’s favorite foods and we gave her more presents than she knew what to do with. But this party… this was the one thing that  _ had _ to be done. And I was currently dealing with many an insecurity and anxiety attack by being back in the house that was my prison for so many years. But now… I was Lord of the manor.

\---000---

I straightened my tie in the mirror and looked over my shoulder. Jim was fussing with his hair in his usual manner. He hated the slight wave that it had and the fact it usually had a mind of it’s own. Without the right amount of product, he tended to look a bit disheveled. “Sweetheart, stop. You look perfect as always.” I gave him a quick smiled and finished getting myself together. I took one final look at the finished product and nodded. I did indeed clean up well.

“Bri’s waiting.” Jim said as if I was the one who was fussing over my clothing again and again. I shook my head at him and came close as I could to my lovely husband. I pulled him into my arms and held him tightly, smiling as we shared a single breath for a few moment. “Sebastian.” he warned.

“What?” I asked, my voice full of mock innocence. “I’m just kissing my husband.”

“It’s rarely just a kiss with you.” he said. He giggled a bit and leaned in to kiss me himself. I smiled and he bit my bottom lip.

“Dick.” I said fondly. 

“You love me.” he said.

“I do.” He nodded his head knowingly before letting go and straightening his clothes.  We walked in our old formation. The one that was hard to break the habit of. Jim in front and I was a few steps behind and to his right. His weaker side. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and mused that I would follow him to the ends of the world.

 

And little did I know that the end of the world very well have could been that very evening. Jim and I didn’t have a large circle of people that we would call friends. Business associates, yes. People I had worked alongside at the university, sure. Jim had some people he was close with from his charity work. And the large and expressive family that made up the Moran’s. A smattering of my mother’s family that was left and Jim’s elderly aunt. That was all of us. But for our daughter’s debut to the world… we invited everyone we could think of and more. Jim had even smiled and invited Bri’s best friend and her parents. Victoria “Tori” Holmes-Watson. Yes. That family. Jim and Sherlock…. their history was, um… well…. complicated. But they were adult enough to deal with it on their own. To sit quietly and tolerate each other when they had to.

All in all… there were some three hundred people walking around the gardens my mother had so painstakingly restored in her brief years at the manor house. Jim and my sister Sabrina had out done themselves in the planning and Bri was a fairy princess holding court in the center of it all.

 

Two things happened that night. Two things that will live in my memories forever. Both of them…. life changing and not the best things. But… like all bad things in my life, something good came out of them both. And the two things are a bit intertwined.

 

I’m not a fan of crowds. Never have been. There is something about masses of humanity that just… I don’t like it. But I’m soooo much more tolerant than Jim. He can only deal with small groups of people for about an hour and even that’s stretching his limits. This many people was making him twitchy and I knew simply by the vibrations he was sending off, he needed to be in a more open space. I took his hand and lead him away from the crowd.

 

The gardens opened up into a small bit of natural space, clean and neat with a few trees along the edges, but not as formal as the gardens themselves. My mother had placed a stone bench on the top of a small hill so it could overlook the gardens some, from a slightly elevated place. Behind it was the cutting garden. The flower beds that were used and tended for flowers meant for cutting and placing in vases throughout the house. I grabbed Jim’s hand, made an excuse for him to the people he was speaking with and lead him to the bench. At first, he was snappy.

“What the hell Seb? That was rude. Even for you.” Moriarty was fighting to stay hidden at Jim’s insistence, but a bit still leaked through. I sat down on the bench and asked him to sit with me for a moment, only by placing my hand on the cool stone surface. Jim understood and sat down with a huff and a sigh. It was a rather funny noise he made when he did that. I knew better than to do anything but hold his hand at that moment. As much as I wanted to take him into my arms, I needed to wait a bit. He turned to watch the party for a bit, his tension beginning to roll off his shoulders. “Thank you.” he said quietly after a while. “You always know.” And I do. I’ve spent a lifetime learning to speak Moriarty after all.

 

I nodded my acknowledgement of his gratitude, and let out a breath of my own. This bench never held the best of memories for me, but having Jim sit on it with me, was more…. manageable. I cleared the emotion from my throat for a moment and licked my lips.

 

“The night my father found my letters… the letters from Ashling, I ran out of the house. Father and I had been arguing. Yelling and screaming at each other. We were a lot alike.” I said with a slight chuckle. “The gardens were one of the few places on the grounds he would never go. It was a place that so reminded him of my mother, I was usually safe from him there.” I swallowed and breathed in and out slowly for a few moments. “For some reason, I ended up on this bench. I was beside myself at that point. Thinking I would never see you again. Trying to figure out how to get to you… a million things at once. For some reason I had my pocket knife with me. I don’t know why. And I felt this overwhelming urge to cut my leg open. To see the blood well up and to feel the bright sharp pain of the cut. It was the first time I had ever cut myself.” I told him. He didn’t say a word, just squeezed my hand tighter. I didn’t say anything more. He knew of my struggles with self harm and my occasional need to cause myself pain. And the night that my father forbade me from seeing him, was the night that it all started. 

 

Jim turned his face towards me and stroked my cheek. For once, I was clean shaven and his fingers on my skin were such an odd feeling. It was fresher. More raw without the barrier of my beard between us.

“I’m sorry, Tiger.” he said. “I’m sorry that you… you started that over me.” I nodded and swallowed down the ball of emotions that were lodged there. I hadn’t thought about that night in a long long time. And all the pain came back to me in a flash. 

“I almost lost you forever that night.” I said. “I… I almost lost everything.” I shook my head and looked up. My blue eyes met his brown ones and I sighed. “Doesn’t matter now.” 

“It will always matter.” Jim said, leaning in to kiss me. It was the most perfect kiss and I smiled as his lips moved over mine.

 

“EW!” A small voice came from behind us. “I swear… I’m going to stop looking for the two of you when I need you. Because everytime I turn my back you are off snogging or something else in a corner!” Brighid exclaimed.

“Well….” I said with a smirk our emotional moment seemingly over. “You see, Bri…. when two people love each other….”

“Stop!” She exclaimed. “I  _ don’t _ want to hear another thing.” I smiled and Jim tried to hide his own amusement. 

“Is there something wrong, love?” Jim asked after a moment. “Is there a reason you were looking for us?”

“Yes.” Bri finally said with a huff. “I wanted a picture with my parents. And the photographer has been looking for you two as well.”

“Oh… well…” I looked over my shoulder at the flowers and smiled. “Here works.” My husband and my daughter looked around as well. They both agreed.

_ \---000--- _

The evening wore on and the party continued. Our wonderful daughter pretended to be disgusted when Jim and I did dance… once. That took a lot of convincing on his part. He’s not one for dancing. But I had a moment that I will remember for a long time. 

My sister swept Jim away for a bit and Bri was engaged in a conversation with Tori. I took it as a moment to escape… just to take a quick walk and sneak in a cigarette. Since I had been ill the year prior, I had been trying hard to give them up. But every now and again, the craving hit and I itched for one. 

I climbed a small bluff behind the house, one that could be easily accessed from the surrounding property. It was one I knew well. I used to walk there to smoke when I was a teen and I was surprised to find how natural it felt to be there. I lit my cigarette and stood, watching over the party for a few minutes before I heard her. I heard her long before I saw her. And I think on some level she knew that she had disturbed my solitude. And our relationship was less than… congenial even at the best of times. Our interactions over the years and even in the last year had been… minimal at best. And that was a good thing. 

Years working for Jim as his sniper and as a military man had me more than attentive to danger. And this woman was dangerous. She also knew that I could kill her just as easily. But for the sake of the daughter we shared, I wouldn’t do that.

“Ashling.” I said flatly as she walked near me.

“Sebastian.” Her tone was just as flat and emotionless. We stood watching the party… not together but near each other for a while. My cigarette was finished and I knew that Jim or Bri or someone else would soon begin to notice my absence.

“Is there something you needed or are you here to…” I didn’t know how to finish my question. I wasn’t sure what she wanted now. It hadn’t been quite a year since anyone had seen her and the last time we did…. It wasn’t the best of circumstances.

“I’m here because I heard you were having a party for Brighid.”

“Yes. We are. For her birthday. Moran family tradition.” I explained. I couldn’t quite figure out why I was explaining myself to her.

“I see.” Her tone was flat and bored.

“Why are you here?” I asked again.

“I…” she stopped and I could hear the emotion in her voice. Something that she was fantastic at hiding at the best of times. But then and there at that moment, she was less the emotional woman that I was used too and more… human. Enough so, that I looked over at her for the first time since she came up upon me.

“Ashing?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to spoil her lovely party. I just wanted to see for myself. See… see what a beautiful woman she’s becoming.”

“She is. She’s so beautiful. Both inside and out.” I said, looking back at the garden and having no trouble spotting the red hair that I had grown to love. “Thank you for… for giving me the opportunity to have some part in that.” I admitted.

“I would have rather… you had more of a hand in it. But… it wasn’t our choice, now was it?” She mused. Her voice was rather sadly amused and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Our’s is not to reason why….” I quoted and she chuckled a bit as she shook her head. 

“No, I guess not. He is himself after all.” I nodded in agreement.

“I could smooth it over if you wanted to... “ I stopped and swallowed, trying to force the next few words out of my mouth.

“No.” she said before I could. “It’s fine. Really.” I was amazed at how natural that sounded to my ears. She really was fine with it. “I just wanted to see it.” 

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to find a series of messages from my dear husband. “Where are you?, Are you hiding? Seriously Moran…” The last one was the worst. “Please love, come back. I’ll dance with you again if you want. I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I have to get back.” I said sighing as I pocketed my phone. “Jim is demanding my attention. And you know how he is.” I started to walk but I stopped a few feet away from where I had been standing. “Stay… as long as you like.” I didn’t turn around but I knew she heard me.

“Thank you. I won’t. But…” she moved quietly and I felt her presence closer to me again. “Would you…. Give this to Brighid?” She asked, handing an envelope to me. I nodded my head and put it in my jacket pocket. “Not tonight. Give me a few days. A week. Please.” She asked. It was the first time she had asked me to do something for her. “Take good care of them both. I… I won’t darken your door ever again.” She said before disappearing like the wind into the night. I didn’t have a chance to say another word to her. She was gone.

By the time I reached the party again, Jim found me and grabbed me with force. “Where have you been?” He hissed. I grabbed his wrist and shook my head. His eyes grew wide. He knew that look I must have had on my face. Years of working together in tandem, in dangerous situations… he knew that something was off.

We walked back to the bench. I explained everything that had just happened and after a moment, the rage and expected anger wasn’t there. He gave me a shrug. “I had a feeling…”

“You  _ knew _ she might try to come?” I asked incredulously. 

“Maybe. What did she… did she want to see Bri?”

“No. But she gave me this.” I said showing him the envelope. His eyes grew wide in surprise.

“What does it say?” He asked, threading his fingers with mine.

“I’m not sure. I would be interesting to know. But… it’s not ours. All we can do is be there when she opens it.” Jim nodded in agreement and we didn’t mention it again for the rest of the night.

 

_ \---000--- _

Bri never did tell us what the letter said. It wasn’t something that either of us pried about. She would share when she was ready. But, Bri did do something for Jim and I after her party. She made sure to select the best of the photographs from the ones of us in the flower garden and sent it off to our friend Pani in Canada. She called it a thank you gift. 

Jim and I came home from a trip abroad. We had been dealing with some business in India with my family’s estate. After three weeks away, we walked into our London flat to find it hanging over the fireplace in the sitting room. We were both… flattered. It was the best coming home gift we could ever expect.

After dinner, we sat on the sofa with a good bottle of wine and our arms twisted together, happy to be home. I looked at it for a long time. “You know Jim, that’s really us.” I said after a bit.

“What? Oh… of course it is. Who else would it be?”

“No.” I explained. “I mean, really look at it. Brighid. Young. Full of life. Looking at it straight on. As if she’s facing the whole thing with a smile, head on. Me. Looking at you as if you were the best thing in my life. And you are.” I said, kissing his cheek gently. He smiled and nodded.

“And me?” He asked.

“You. My darling husband. Bri’s father. You are happy. And peaceful. Exactly what I’ve always wanted for you.”

“I am.” He agreed, studying the picture. “I am happy. And I can say that I am at peace. For the first time, well ever.” 

I smiled and leaned in to kiss him properly. My face broke into a smile as I heard the lift doors open and a resounding sigh come through the flat.

“Three weeks away and I still find you both snogging on the sofa. We are going to work out some sort of system so I know when you are doing that.” Bri bemoaned as she came over to us and forced her way between us. We wrapped our arms around her and kissed her hello.

“I rather like the arrangement we have now.” I said amused. “I rather like having you come in when we are snogging. Your reaction makes it all the better.”

“Besides, If we notified you in advance of us being affectionate, we’d never see you.” Jim added.

Bri rolled her eyes but smiled. “Right.” She looked at the painting on the wall. “You like it?”

“We love it, Princess.” Jim said. “Thank you.” He kissed her cheek and got up to find another glass for our wine.

I cuddled Bri closer to me and planted a kiss on her head. “It’s lovely. Thank you.”

“Welcome, Papa. But… I…. I should be thanking you.”

“For what?”

“That… that was the day I really became not just your daughter, but a Moran. I… I know it hurt for you to be there. But… bbbut… I appreciate you doing it. For me.”

“I would give you anything you asked for. No matter how much it hurt. I love you. You’re my daughter.” 

Bri smiled at me and settled against me for a while. When Jim joined us again, we settled into a quiet that was peaceful. And I knew, we were truly a family.


End file.
